28 December 2010

So long and thanks for all the fish!

Well people(s),

This blog has been VERY short-lived, but it has nevertheless reached its untimely end. They say that the good die young, so take from that what you will.

More importantly, take from this blog post a link to Dria and I's my mine's Jordan's new blog, Is this awesome? Y/N. I think you will like it!


PS--Thanks for reading my blog, Shawn. Hopefully more than two people will follow our new blog. :)

31 October 2010

Flippin' Sweet!

Dria and I were Napoleon Dynamite and Deb for Halloween.  After scouring the racks at DI, we found everything we needed--goofy t-shirts, ridiculous yellow pants that look like they're from the 80s, a teal fanny pack--that is, everything but two of the most crucial elements to my costume: Napoleon's glasses and his moon boots.

The glasses brought us some woe, but we finally found the perfect pair at our local Walgreen's--no sweat.  No, it was the boots that gave us, and by "us" I mean "me," the real grief.

Moon boots are rare these days (believe it or not, clothing that was popular in the eighties isn't very easy to come by for some reason), so we had to improvise.  All I had was a pair of giant skater shoes that I seem to think are normal, some old brown sneakers that have been falling apart for over a year, and various worn-out or faded dress shoes.  (Apparently, I need to pay a visit to the mall... or at least get some shoe polish.)  My roommate had some boots, but they were way too not dorky. Finally, I remembered that I had some snow boots at my parents' house that would probably work perfectly for my intended purpose.

For those of you reading this at home, it has been about a month since I started writing this blog post. My procrastination has cost me the bright memory of my ridiculous experience that would have made all the difference in this blog post.  CURSE YOU, CRUEL LACK OF EFFORT!!!

Anyway, we decided to drive over to my parents' house to get the boots.  They were in the garage, buried behind a bunch of camping gear and under some moldy backpacks.  If that didn't tip me off that something might be wrong with the boots, the slime all over the inside of the right boot definitely did.  I managed to fish it out with my fingertips and held it at arm's length as I brought it out to the car.  I figured I'd have time to clean it up in the week or so before Halloween.

Fast forward a week or so, and, of course, I woke up with a strange, nagging feeling, which I shrugged off because I had slept in and was late for school.  Finally, the time came for me to change into my costume for a Halloween party Dria and I were attending.  That was when I remembered the boot.  The slime-covered, disturbingly sweet-smelling snow boot that I had left fermenting in my closet.

Being the brilliant, resourceful and quick-thinking man that I am, I decided to just wipe the gunk off with a wet rag.  It's not like a boot that had been sitting around for who knows how long would have absorbed the grease enough that a simple wipe-off wouldn't do it, right?  Well, no.  Wrong.  WAY wrong.  Because the moment I started wiping, a white foam began to... uh... foam... out of the boot, like rabies out of a dog's mouth.

Turns out the sludge on my boot was actually soap!

Which led me to my next BRILLIANT deduction: what do you do with soap?  Take a shower!  I was just about to take a shower anyway, so why not just bring the boot in with me and rinse it out?  A foolproof plan, if I had ever heard of one.

Of course, wherever the soap came from was obviously a full bottle of something, so no amount of wringing and squeezing and rinsing could get the soap out completely.  I wrestled with it for about twenty minutes before giving up and just taking a shower like normal.

So here I was, a man without an essential element to his costume.  I had two choices, really: I could wear the slimy boot, which was now also soaking wet (and this is Utah weather, we're talking about, which is not exactly tropical!), or I could go to the party looking like a doofus.  Well, I guess I would look like a doofus either way, but at least with the boots I would be a famous doofus.

I finally decided to be a man, and I stuffed my foot into the swamp that the inside of my boot had become.  I instantly knew that there was no turning back, because my pant leg was soaked around the ankle, and I would probably have to take another shower after I took the boot off anyway.  It was disgusting!

But at least Dria and I had the best couple costume at the party! :)

15 October 2010

I haven't posted in a while

When I was little, I used to make "potions."  These typically contained the strangest mixture of bathroom supplies and other liquids from our refrigerator, including, but not limited to: shampoo, water, toothpaste, and toilet paper.  I then froze my "potion," hoping it would one day evolve into some sort of... sludge monster... or something.  My mom usually disposed of them before they were able to grow any limbs or provide magical powers to me or anyone else.

Today, I discovered the secret potion for feeling really, really tired and out of it.

First, get a terrible night's sleep.  The best way to do this is to go to bed too late, then spend the entire night switching between laying on your stomach, then your side, then your back, then your other side, and so forth.  It helps if you have a runny nose that prevents you from laying face down for more than thirty seconds and have never been able to sleep comfortably on your back or side.

Second, get up at 6:00am and do some cardiovascular exercise.  It helps if this includes muscle toning exercises, as well.  Make sure you don't take any naps afterwards.

Third, just be sick in general.  Since this is often hard to plan ahead of time, you may need to wait for this ingredient to occur naturally and then proceed by adding the other ingredients.  You could also take up visiting hospitals and spending a lot of time around the most contagious patients, or you could become an elementary school teacher.

Fourth, don't eat lunch; instead of lunch, eat a doughnut or other high-sugar substance and finish it off with a Vanilla Coke or other high-sugar soda.  If you're feeling extra adventurous, eat two donuts and a chocolate truffle.  If you're feeling extra adventurous, I have a couple of websites that might give you some good ideas.

You don't have to stick yourself in a freezer or anything (although that might help if you stay in there long enough), but if you mix the four ingredients together, you'll come out feeling pretty terrible.  If you're lucky, you'll have an attractive fiancée nearby who is willing to provide her lap as a pillow while you attempt to recover in the afternoon.  If not, the best idea is probably to pull an all-nighter watching the extended editions of Lord of the Rings or the entire Harry Potter series until you pass out.  I hear that Ny-Quil can speed along that process, as well.

01 October 2010

I am Generally excited for this weekend!

Ladies and gentlemen! I am in anticipation for one of the best weekends of the year! There are several reasons that this weekend, and not the previous weekend, is one of the best weekends of the year. (Obviously, a couple of weekends ago was the ACTUAL best weekend of the year so far.) Here are the reasons, colon:
  1. General Conference is amazing: prophets, revelators, and seers speaking to the whole world about things that are really important to God and to us. Plus, you get to watch it from home, which makes it much more comfortable than regular church. 
  2. Where am I watching General Conference?: at my fiancée's family's house, which is awesome and has a huge screen TV. Apostles in HD. YEAH!!! 
  3. We will be building a tent and eating dinosaur sandwiches, as well as other awesome fun things like music and maybe a movie or something. 
  4. Did I mention that I will be spending Saturday at my fiancée's house? Call me Lovesick, but I just love every minute with my sweetheart. 

So life is good. Also, check this out:


One of the greatest music video's I've ever seen. :)

16 September 2010

The Story You've All Been Waiting For

Has it only been three days since my last post?  It feels like way longer.  Oh well.

Regardless of how long it's been, I'm sure you've been waiting anxiously to hear the story of how I proposed last Saturday.  Dria has already shared her version of the story, but it's always fun to hear a story, especially one like this, from both sides.  Besides, my side of the story is much longer, as you will see.

It was the morning of Wednesday, September 8th.  I called the custom ring design place that was going to make her ring to see if the wax model were available to see later that day.  (I know it might take away from some of the fun of getting engaged, but Dria and I had pretty much already agreed that we both wanted to marry each other, so we looked at ring designs together.)  They didn't answer, so I looked online to see if there was another phone number I could call.  It turned out that they just weren't open yet, but while I was searching, I came across a most alarming list of bad reviews for the place.  This made me more than slightly nervous.  I immediately looked into other possible custom ring design places and texted Dria frantically to ask her opinion.

It felt like about a week before we found a ring design shop that satisfied us.  It was actually that very night, but the stress made time go so slowly I could have sworn it was longer.  First we tried Goldsmith, which was much nicer than Custom Ring Design, but quite pricey!  Finally, at about 9:00 at night, we found a friendly and enthusiastic reception by Steve at Sierra West Jewelers, who helped us figure out a way to get the design we wanted for half the price of Goldsmith and ten times the professionalism of Custom Ring Design, and we decided to go with it.

Knowing that it would take a few weeks for the custom ring to be designed and made, I hoped that I would be able to surprise Dria by getting a temporary ring and proposing to her that very weekend.  We had been planning a hike up the Y and beyond for quite a while, so I decided to use that as the setup for my proposal.  I began my preparations by staying up late that night putting together a collage of pictures representing significant memories from our time together, including a picture from our first hike up the Y and a drawing she made for me when we were at my parents' house one day.  Our first date had been a trip to Brick Oven and the subsequent viewing of the new Star Trek and Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (highly recommended—check it out right now!), so I put the collage inside of a Brick Oven pizza box and put Star Trek inside the box with the pictures.  (I didn't put Dr. Horrible in because we were already planning on watching it on the way up and I didn't have access to the outer case; Dria just had the DVD itself, which wouldn't work out very well...)  Furthermore, our first kiss was right after watching one of my favorite movies, Up, together, so I put that in the pizza box, as well.

I know, I'm just SO sentimental. :)

When I was finally so exhausted that I couldn't lift a pair of scissors anymore, I fell into bed, happier than I'd ever felt before and excited beyond words.  I was a zombie the whole next day. But I was a happy zombie.

I have to admit, it's really hard to get top secret proposal missions done when you're with your girlfriend all the time!  But somehow, I managed to procure a blanket, Harriet the Spy (which we had read together over the summer), and, of course, the temporary ring (Fine Jewelry from Walmart, even!) without her knowledge.  It involved quite a bit less sleep than normal, but the excitement for Saturday kept me going.  Or maybe it was adrenaline.  I'm not very clear on the biological functions of these types of things.

So Saturday FINALLY came, and I was ready.  In the morning, I gave Dria a Mad Lib to fill out, which I would have her read later that day.  I had one of my best friends go ahead of us with the blanket, the book, and the pizza box, and Dria and I left later with my laptop, Dr. Horrible, and some awesome adventure food (bread and cheese—just like in EVERY book that talks about people going on an adventure).  Reynold, my '93 Honda Accord, barely made it up the hills getting to the Y parking lot.  Little did I know, this was a foreshadowing of things to come...

After the first switchback, Dria started feeling a little dizzy.  She stopped several times to get her heart rate down and feel better.  I became concerned, to say the least, considering the implications of my preparations being at the top of the trail with no way of getting down unless Dria and I collected them ourselves.  With this knowledge in mind, I offered to carry Dria part of the way up the mountain.  Given, Dria is not very big, but hiking up a trail so steep is hard when you're only carrying yourself!  We made it to the Y somehow, where we watched Dr. Horrible and ate our adventure lunch and some Toblerone.  Good stuff.  Mmmmmm... dark chocolate, too...

Anyways!  We finished lunch and the movie, and proceeded forth up the winding trail to the spot where my blanket setup would be... set... up...  I wasn't sure how far we actually had to go before we got to the blanket, so when Dria started expressing a not insignificant amount of soreness in her legs, I once again became worried.  Fortunately, it was only about five more minutes before we finally arrived at the spot.

We lay down on the blanket.  I turned on some of our favorite and most sentimental songs.  She looked inside the pizza box.  I filled in the Mad Lib she had filled out earlier.  She read it.  As she got to the end, she read, "...then Jordan said, 'I have a question...'".  And I asked it.  She said yes (of course), and, as the last note of Our Song played, I placed the ring on her finger.

It was magical.

So, now we're engaged.  And I couldn't be happier.  At least, not until December 18th. :)

13 September 2010


I am engaged.  I may post the full story of how it happened, but for now, let it be known that I am happier than I've ever been before!

That is all. :)

03 September 2010

I have NEVER been so happy for Friday to come!

There are several reasons for this.  First off, I was just getting used to being out of school after Summer term when Fall semester showed up and crushed all of my hopes and dreams.  Secondly, it has been one of the busiest weeks of my life!  I had about a million meetings for my church assignment, and it took me at least TWO million hours to finish my write-up in preparation for my first Organic Chemistry lab.  Furthermore, Dria and I woke up in the wee hours of the morning in order to go to the temple at 6am on Thursday.  I can't really complain too much about the temple, since it's always one of the highlights of my week, but it still contributed to my mounting weariness.

What makes me more excited for the weekend, however, is not what I'm leaving behind, but what I have ahead of me.  Dria and I have an awesome weekend planned, packed with Divine Comedy, Slumdog Millionaire, and BYU's first football game.  What makes this even more amazing is that the weekend isn't over on Monday; Labor Day has given us a WHOLE EXTRA DAY together!  I don't know what we're going to do just yet, but I can assure you that it will be totally awesome.

So Friday is here.  In just over an hour, I will be done with work, and the partying will begin.  Well, maybe I'll do some homework before Dria gets off work so I don't have anything distracting me.  Maybe.

01 September 2010

My Blain Hults

Dear Readers,

Okay, let's be serious; I don't really have any faithful readers other than my girlfriend.  Hopefully I will, someday, but for now, maybe I should address my posts, "Dear Girlfriend, (and anyone else who happens to have accidentally found this page while searching for their uncle's half-sister's cousin's best friend's blog about something way cooler than whatever this blog is about,)" instead.  But that would take much longer to type, so I'll stick with the conventional, "Dear Readers," greeting.

Anyway, I'm pretty stressed out by school, and I'm only halfway through my third day.  The biggest bother for me is the Organic Chemistry lab that I have from 3-6 every Monday and Wednesday.  It's listed as a 2-credit-hour class, but don't let that fool you; it's easily as intense as a 4-credit-hour class, as far as I'm concerned.  You already spend 6 hours a week in class/lab, which is what the university says should be the amount of time put into any 2-credit-hour class.  Unfortunately, this class also requires spending a decent amount of time before class outlining exactly how the experiment is to be carried out and all the information you need to know to perform the experiment (you can't just bring the instructions to class; you have to copy them into your own notebook), THEN you have to do all the calculations, conclusions, and other bits of science and writing after the lab is completed.  I've already spent at least 2 hours on the pre-lab write-up, and I'm still not done.  I just hope it gets easier as the semester goes on!

In conclusion, I love school, but this O-Chem lab may just prove to be my downfall.

On a happier note, I am enjoying my other classes quite well, especially now that I switched one of my classes so I can take a class with Dria.  If I make this out alive, I think it will be a great semester.

30 August 2010


I am currently sitting in Molecular Biology, my first class of the semester.  I'm SO excited!  Dria and I talked about how exciting it is to be back in school as we walked together (she's admittedly more excited than I am since she had a whole term off and I only had 2 weeks).  My teacher is from Ireland!  His accent is awesome, but I think he's lost some of it since he's been in America.

Anyways, I should probably be paying attention to class, but I'm just SO EXCITED to get back in school.

...and maybe, if I keep telling myself that, I won't die before the end of the semester!

27 August 2010

Do you like to laugh as much as I do?

Since laughter is the best medicine, I think we could all benefit from this kind of a sense of humor. :)

25 August 2010

...and I'm a Mormon.

As many of you know, (can I use the term "many" when I know that only two people currently read my blog?) I am Mormon.  That being the case, I suppose I have a particular interest in anything that goes on in the media related to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Unfortunately for us, most of our media attention has been negative since the Church was first organized in 1830.  The odd thing is that most people who are personally acquainted with a Mormon have a fairly complimentary view of the Church.

I believe that it is for this purpose that the Church recently began a campaign to increase media exposure to "ordinary" Mormons.  Examples can be seen at Mormon.org.  I haven't personally seen any of the TV commercials for this new media effort, but I have learned a bit about it from others.  I think it's a great idea to help people feel more comfortable with the concept that Mormons are regular people and not some crazy cult.

A friend of mine posted a link to a news article about this new media campaign.  I was amused by the writer's apparent opinion that they have something to do with Mitt Romney's hopeful return to presidential candidacy in 2012.  The Church does not, and never has, supported any specific candidates for political positions.  Well, except for when Joseph Smith ran for president, but that was a whole different issue.  What bothered me, however, was the series of hateful and deceitful comments that followed the article.  I am almost just as disappointed with the response of Mormons trying to defend the Church, because there was quite a bit of mud-slinging going on there in place of actual reasoning.  I must admit, however, that the people posting anti-Mormon comments would not have cared whether their Mormon opponents were civil or rude.  Anything would just add fuel to the fire, for the most part.

In any case, it seems clear to me that the main issue in all of those comments comes down to whether we believe that everything the prophets and leaders of our Church say is the word of God.  This is an issue that even many members of the Church misunderstand, and I wouldn't dare say that I have a perfect handle on it myself.  What I can say is that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was established, organized, and is lead today under the direction of God.  His purpose, however, isn't to establish a hierarchy to tell us exactly what we can or can't do; His purpose is to give us the opportunity to know truth and become changed by it.  With that in mind, I would like to share some thoughts as to why I believe that prophets, apostles, and other leaders can sometimes say things that are false and why the Lord allows it.

In the Doctrine and Covenants, we read the words of God saying, “Whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants it is the same” (D&C 1:38).  This is commonly interpreted to mean that when a prophet speaks, his words are the same as God's.  This is an incomplete interpretation, however; what this scripture means is not that everything a Church leader speaks is truth.  Rather, it means we believe that those who have been called by God—meaning those who have been given authority and who are serving God—are able to speak, as moved upon by the Holy Ghost, God’s will.

One of the strongest statements in the Doctrine and Covenants pertaining to the scriptural status of the words of the prophets and apostles is the passage in D&C 68:4, which reads, “And whatsoever they shall speak when moved upon by the Holy Ghost shall be scripture, shall be the will of the Lord, shall be the mind of the Lord, shall be the word of the Lord, shall be the voice of the Lord, and the power of God unto salvation.”  One thought that will help the honest seeker of truth interpret this verse is to recognize that the context of this passage is that of missionary work, or proselyting.  When missionaries receive revelation for the people whom they teach, that revelation is to be obeyed by those people as if it were given by the Lord Himself. If they preach without revelation, however, their doctrines are not of the Lord.  This passage may be viewed as more of a warning to missionaries against preaching anything that is not confirmed by the Spirit, or an acknowledgment that although missionaries preach, it is the Holy Ghost that actually does the teaching.  In the context of prophets and apostles, their preaching is given to the church as a whole, rather than just individuals or groups whom they would teach as missionaries.  As Mormons, we must learn to understand when their teachings are truly the voice of the Lord, because there is no established rule in Latter-day Saint theology that can define this for us.

The important factor in recognizing the true voice of the Lord in the prophets’ words is to recognize whether they are given and received “by the Spirit of truth or some other way” (D&C 50:17; see also v. 19).  When both preacher and hearer are “moved upon by the Holy Ghost” (D&C 68:4) and both are “edified and rejoice together” (D&C 50:21), both can be assured that the doctrine being taught is true doctrine, because the Spirit will not testify of anything that is false.  As President J. Ruben Clark, Jr. suggests, this understanding “completely shifts the responsibility from them [the prophets] to us to determine when they so speak [in the words of scripture]” ("When Are Church Leaders' Words Entitled to the Claim of Scripture?" Church News, 31 July 1954).  The Lord expects us to gain a sound understanding of His true gospel, and that can only be done through personal revelation.  We cannot rely on our confidence in others as a substitute for our own personal conversion to the doctrines of the kingdom of God.  Therefore, as we exercise our own agency to gain a personal testimony of the words of the prophets, we can be assured of which of their teachings are scripture, and which ones aren’t.

In summary, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does not support the idea that everything a prophet, apostle, or any other leader of the Church says is canon.  They are inspired, but not infallible.  Mormonism is the search for all truth, with prophets and apostles as guides and special witnesses of Jesus Christ.  After all, the primary purpose of an Apostle is not to establish doctrine, but simply to testify that Jesus is the Christ.  They establish and correct doctrine as they receive direction from God, but we can also receive direction from God by studying the words of prophets ancient and modern, using our own good judgment, and listening to the Spirit of God to help us understand things as they really are.  This may confuse many people who are accustomed to thinking that religions are established with set doctrines and beliefs to which all followers should subscribe—that seems to be the idea behind most organized religions.  I believe that the Mormon religion is more about our personal quest to come to know and understand God as He is, with the organization and leadership of the Church providing a stepping-stone and support for us along the way.

I bear my own witness that God has spoken to men on earth today; not only has He called prophets such as Joseph Smith and Thomas S. Monson (our prophet today), but He also speaks with each of us as we seek Him.  I have heard His voice, not an audible voice of man, but the voice of one speaking from Heaven, which enters the mind and the heart and assures of God's reality.  I accept Jesus Christ as my Savior.  It is only through Him that we are saved, and no matter how much we do, there is no way we can repay Him.  I believe in the Book of Mormon because it brings the Spirit of God into my heart, and that Spirit edifies me, enlightens my mind, and convinces me of the truthfulness of that sacred book.  I believe the Bible is true, because that same Spirit testifies when I read it.  God loves us; He would never leave us without some way of knowing His will.  I hope that anyone who may read this blog will know what I know and believe, and will seek honestly and sincerely to know God in their own lives, and fashion their lives after His teachings, rather than assuming that His teachings would align themselves with their lives.  We will never know perfectly in this life the will of God, but I promise that you and I can come to know, at least in part, what God expects of us.

...and I'm a Mormon.

20 August 2010

Things Will Be Just Fine

I've always resonated with the lyrics in Green Day's "Basket Case" where it says, "I am one of those melodramatic fools, neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it!"  I worry so much about everything, and seem to think that I can make things be exactly how I want them.  It might even be a little bit of OCD.

The thing is, I realize that life is never the way you expect it to be, and you can't control really all that much about it.  Furthermore, everyone comes from different backgrounds, so we're all different.  I've never completely accepted that fact, although I understand perfectly that life would be boring if we were all the same.  I can chalk it up somewhat to the religious concept of becoming perfect, like God is.  Obviously, this is not possible to do as imperfect humans, but with God's help, I believe we can all one day be like He is.  Now, I'm not trying to be overly religious on my blog, but the point I'm trying to get to is this:

If God is perfect, and we want to be like He is, does that mean we're all going to eventually be the same?

Perhaps this is a null point, since no one will attain perfection in mortal life, but it's nevertheless an intriguing one for me.  I always assumed that we would one day be the same, because we would all understand things the same way and realize that they needed to be one certain way.  Recently, however, I've started to think differently.  Variety is a wonderful thing.  The world is so much more enjoyable when there are so many different people with different beliefs, ideas, and, most importantly, personalities and interests.

So maybe imperfection isn't so much about thinking of things a certain way or behaving a certain way, but it's more about just not understanding things completely.  The Greek word translated as "perfect" in our Bibles today indicates more of a perfect maturity than the kind of perfection we traditionally think of, which is without sin.  That would indicate to me that we'll still be different when we're perfect, but we'll be mature in the way we view the world, ourselves, and God.

I'm still learning, but these are some of my thoughts recently.

18 August 2010

Today is Wednesday the 18th

You know what that means?  That means that anyone who's important enough to ask where I am will know where I've gone.

Actually, it means that Dria and I have been dating for two months.  Happy Anniversary, Dria!

17 August 2010

Life is Beautiful

Dear everybody,

Life is really beautiful right now, and here's why:

  1. School ended last Wednesday.  Actually, finals went until Thursday, but being the overachiever I am, I finished both of my finals on Wednesday.
  2. Said Wednesday, Girlfriend and I performed a series of spontaneous events, including buying a cookbook (which we have yet to open outside of the store), discovering the turkey bacon and avocado deliciousness at the Pita Pit, watching How to Train Your Dragon (which you should watch IMMEDIATELY if you haven't seen it already), and just generally enjoying each other's company.  Ahhh... spontaneity.
  3. Friday, Dria and I (Dria = Girlfriend, by the way) went to her parents' house, where I watched her unpack about 5,000 boxes.  I was very grateful that I didn't have to unpack those boxes.  I enjoyed reminiscing about some of her childhood memories, though.  I was particularly entertained by a little duck toy that resembled a Koosh ball, for which she had created a house out of paper and a pillow and cape sort of thing out of cloth.  It was pretty legit.  We also watched Treasure Planet, which was awesome.  Especially since we cuddled a lot. :)
  4. My brother enters the Missionary Training Center in Provo tomorrow.  Now, that is not necessarily happy in and of itself, because I'll miss my brother a lot.  What is amazing, however, was that Dria and I stayed at my parents' house Saturday and Sunday, took pictures of the family and everything before my brother leaves, had a bunch of food and snacks, heard his "farewell talk" in church, and celebrated the wonderful blessing of having known Jason and the amazing experiences he will have over the next two years.  Also, more cuddling.
  5. You may have figured this out already, but I have the best girlfriend.  Ever.
So my life is good.  Really good.  I hope you all enjoyed the crazy links I posted almost as much as I enjoyed my weekend.  Oh, and one more for the road.


12 August 2010

It isn't such a Bad, Bad World!

I haven't posted in a while, so I thought I'd just share with you something that has made me extremely satisfied with life lately:


I hope this song makes you as happy as it has made me.


03 August 2010

I just keep acquainted

A funny thing happened yesterday. I went through my cell phone and deleted all of the contacts with whom I have little or no contact, or whom I have no intention of keeping up with in the future. So, naturally, about 5 minutes later I got a text from an unknown number, and when I asked who it was, it was one of those people I had deleted. Talk about irony! Of course, she had sent her text to the wrong person, so it was still a pretty valid decision to delete her number from my phone, but... you know. My Life is Average.

PS—The title for this post comes from one of my new favorite songs. Check it out!

02 August 2010

Some people were not meant to use computers

I work as a computer support representative at the school where I attend. This gives me great opportunities to help professors with all of their technology needs, but it also gives me great opportunities to experience firsthand the severe lack of common computer sense that many of them possess.

Case in point: a professor came in, wanting to convert a GIF into a JPEG. Why he wanted to do that in the first place is beyond me, since anything a professor can do with a JPEG can be done with a GIF just as easily. Whatever his motives, this professor wanted to convert a GIF into a JPEG. He at least knew enough to open Photoshop and click "Save As..." After a few steps, I had him ready to save it as a JPEG image on his flash drive. Not sure what to name the file, he just named it "#1."

Let me take a moment to remind everyone that it's generally a good idea to READ WHAT YOUR COMPUTER TELLS YOU. (At least when it makes sense...)

Now back to me... I mean my story. So the professor goes to save his file, "#1.jpg," and a little notice pops up asking if he wants to replace the image. I let out a small yelp of caution for him not to overwrite his old file. This professor goes "Oh!" as if he just realized that something was wrong, and quickly clicked "Replace."

There went his old image!

Moral of this story... I'm not quite sure. I think the moral is that you should pay attention to what your computer says and where you're clicking. On the other hand, maybe the moral of the story is not to startle professors. Apparently, they rush into bad decisions if you surprise them. I can only imagine what effect that could have if they were calculating your grade at the end of the semester.

I'll let you come up with your own moral for this story.

30 July 2010

What is this blog thing, again?

It has recently come to my attention that most people use their blogs to write about their own personal lives, opinions, and experiences.

What a novel idea!

Well, sure, there are some blogs out there that are more informational, or that are about fictional characters or whatever. You have to admit, nevertheless, that the large majority of so-called "web logs" out there are intended as a means of personal exposure in one form or another. I suppose this means that I'm seeking exposure, as well. Okay. I'll go with that. Mostly, I just want to write stuff and entertain you. If you feel entertained, please feel free to send me an email expressing your enthusiasm for my work. I also have a PayPal account.

Okay, so, stupidity aside, I assume you expect a sudden surge of sentimental storytelling. I suppose you are sufficiently justified in that expectation, but I'm not that much of a pushover. You're gonna hafta coax those kindsa things outta me, my friend. Or just wait until I feel in a sentimental mood.

Speaking of sentimental, one of my favorite artists is Ben Folds. One of my other favorites is Guster. Check 'em out! I have also recently been introduced to this awesome band whose name is fun. by my beautiful and highly intelligent girlfriend. I will now tie together all of these random thoughts by mentioning that the band Guster was one of the reasons my girlfriend and I got together, and I often play Ben Folds's songs for her. "Ahhh," you say, "now I understand your labyrinthine mental process." That's what you think.

In conclusion, my life is great, and I think I finally trust you enough to tell you a bit about it. I look forward to sharing some nearly-sentimental anecdotes as you snicker at my profoundly simple discoveries about life and blogs and stuff. Furthermore, I have the most amazing girlfriend in the world, and she likes cool music. Oh, and my thoughts are really confusing and random.

~The End~

07 July 2010

Lovesick and Heartsick

Have you ever noticed how "lovesick" and "heartsick" have completely opposite meanings?

I've been thinking about this recently because I and my roommate (respectively) are currently behaving as personifications of these two adjectives. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about two and a half weeks, which is just long enough to know you love each other, but not long enough to be used to it yet. We're kind of embarrassing, really. When you're lovesick, though, you don't really care about anything that's going on around you unless what's going on involves your significant other. That being said, I do feel a little guilty being so twitterpated while my roommate (hereafter referred to as "Heartsick") languishes in the lugubrious despondence of heartsickness.

Heartsick's story is both endearing and tragic. One of his close friends introduced him to her boyfriend's sister, a gorgeous blonde with a captivating smile the size of Alaska. He was shy, but frankly quite attractive, so he finally gathered the courage to ask her to a relaxing evening at our abode (I say "abode" because it sounds much more romantic than "moderately messy apartment with tacky wood paneling"). It wasn't long before they exchanged phone numbers, arranged future rendezvous, andc'est l'amour!—became friends on Facebook. We knew it was meant to be when they played Wii Sports. She was doing quite well, unlike Heartsick, who had been pretty boastful earlier but was now pulling some amazing blunders. In a moment of weakness, She made a bit of a stnank and blurted out, "Oh no! I pulled a Heartsick!" (She actually used the name of my roommate, but his name has been changed to protect the innocent... and me.)

Days passed, and both of our relationships flourished—both Heartsick and I held hands with our ladies of interest and celebrated the first kiss of the respective relationships (and bought the corresponding M&M's and ice cream, of course)—but suddenly, like a cobra made out of lightning, disaster struck. First She says that She and Heartsick are taking things too quickly. Then She stops responding to his texts and answering her phone. Heartsick is left in a state of utter confusion, hoping for a clear sign, while She continues to drag him along like that action figure at the beginning of Napoleon Dynamite. Finally, after years (and by "years" I mean "about a week") of vacillating between obsession over She and complete disgust at her behavior, Heartsick discovers that She has left him because of her ex-fiancée.

That, my friends, is another story in and of itself. Suffice it to say that She had dated Some Guy for one month before he popped the question on her, then She broke it off because it didn't feel right. Apparently, what She failed to tell us is that it didn't feel right because She was madly in love with Some Guy. I dunno; you try to figure it out, because I don't get it.

So Lovesick and Heartsick: almost identical words, completely opposite meanings. I think someone went and screwed with the English language, but maybe that's just me. Don't even get me started on the word "cleave."

06 July 2010

A brief explanation...

So, you're probably wondering by now what the heck "Blain Brank" means. It's actually a form of a linguistic phenomenon known as metathesis. Let me illustrate with a haiku:
Blog needed a name,
But I couldn't think of one;
I had a blain brank.
In fact, I came up with the title "Blain Brank" precisely because I told my girlfriend, who was patiently watching my pathetic attempts at putting a proper appellation to my publicly published prose, why I was taking so long to set it up. It's not so much that I couldn't think of an appropriate name for this blog, I'm just somewhat of a perfectionist, so I refused to settle for anything less than an amazing phrase that dripped with gooey, caramel-filled sentimental significance.

In the end, I think "Blain Brank" captures my essence more completely than anything I could have said on purpose. Funny how life is sometimes.

03 July 2010

So We Aim and Ignite

If this works, I will be giddy with excitement.  I'm actually posting from the near future, you see.  Let's do this.

Today was one of the best days of my life.  The Fourth of July was tomorrow (writing from the future makes it hard to use the right verb tense!), and Dria and I were celebrating with one of the greatest adventures of our lives so far.  We have (had) been dating for just over two weeks, so things were still new and exciting, but we had been together long enough to know that we really liked each other and had so much in common.

The day began with a delicious barbecue lunch at my family's house.  My aunt and uncle were in town, and were able to capture several adorable candid shots of Dria and me.  My favorite is the following:

My family had bought tickets for the famous Stadium of Fire at Brigham Young University (Carrie Underwood, whom my youngest sister practically idolizes, would be performing), but because of a series of unfortunate events, we were one ticket short.  (My brother hadn't planned on going because he assumed he would be spending the day with his girlfriend, who by and by dumped him, thus leaving him without any engagements for the third of July...)  Since I wouldn't have been able to go to the Stadium of Fire with Dria anyways, we decided to have an adventure instead.

My dad helped us pack up several leftovers from the delicious barbecue lunch, including a whole can of olives, which Dria absolutely LOVES.  We headed home, and, after some fun and playing in the afternoon, we departed for an exciting hike up to the world-famous Y.  It was a fun hike; we made frequent stops to catch our breath and enjoy the view from the lookout.  We finally got to the top, sat down on the cement, and had a few snacks (delicious fruit... Mmmmm!).  Then, we watched Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, which has mysteriously accompanied several milestones in our relationship, including our first date.  It was a bit uncomfortable to lay on the hard cement, even with a blanket under us, and try to still be able to see the computer screen... on the other hand, cuddling with Dria is about the most comfortable thing I've ever experienced.

While we watched this work of pure genius, a miracle happened.  Whereas there had only been a small smattering of people on the Y when we arrived, we looked up at the end of the... movie?... to see that the entire Y had been filled with people!  We wondered where everyone came from, then decided to munch on the veggies (especially the olives) that we had brought.  They were delicious.  Especially the olives.

We waited for a while, knowing that the darker it got, the closer we were to seeing amazing fireworks from the Lavell Edwards Stadium (of Fire!) in the distance.  It was cold, but it got warm when we put the blanket over us instead of under us, where it had previously resided.  The rest of the night was just magic[, and I hope you'll agree].  There were a ton of fireworks, and we talked about which ones were our favorites.  The sparks in the sky seemed like a metaphor that night.  As we walked home hand in hand, I could feel the explosions of lights all around me.  And even though we were given a ride to the Y trail, walking home seemed to go by so much faster than driving there.

I am (was) so happy tonight, I can't describe it.  Everything wrong with the world seems alright tonight.


26 April 2010

Love at second sight

Today, I met the most wonderful woman in the world.

I met her as I was being friendly all over the place, meeting all the new people moving into my apartment complex (or, at least, as many as I could meet in my apartment complex).  I had met several of her roommates before, but for this particular girl, a group setting just wouldn't work.  I had to meet her when she was by herself.  So I was walking along the catwalk/balcony sort of lookin' thing... whatever you call it.  Anyways, I saw the most beautiful girl; she was short, with shimmering, lush, dark hair and dazzling blue eyes.  I felt compelled to introduce myself to her, which I did with shaky hands and thumping heart.  Never had a creature of such majesty presented itself before me.  This particular one was quite friendly, which calmed my frazzled nerves significantly.  We chatted for a while, my soul filled with wonder that something so fantastic would so willingly share itself with someone so mundane as I.  A friend of my beautiful angel arrived, and we continued our pleasant discourse until I had to return to work.

Unfortunately, the previous description is merely how it SHOULD have been.  I was, in fact, not immediately enthralled by Dria's magnificence, but rather came to know it as I came to know her.  Looking back, I wonder how I could have been so blind and so slow to realize how happy I would be with Dria.  I guess she is somewhat of a mystery at first meeting, so I can't take the blame completely; it just took time to get to know her as well as I do now.*  Either way, it is true that Dria is a marvel and a wonder to me, and I am so glad that I took the time to meet her today.  My life just became a little bit more worth living.

*For more information on statements like this that make no sense, please see the label "adventures of the time-traveling blogger."