28 December 2010

So long and thanks for all the fish!

Well people(s),

This blog has been VERY short-lived, but it has nevertheless reached its untimely end. They say that the good die young, so take from that what you will.

More importantly, take from this blog post a link to Dria and I's my mine's Jordan's new blog, Is this awesome? Y/N. I think you will like it!

Love,
Jordan

PS--Thanks for reading my blog, Shawn. Hopefully more than two people will follow our new blog. :)

31 October 2010

Flippin' Sweet!

Dria and I were Napoleon Dynamite and Deb for Halloween.  After scouring the racks at DI, we found everything we needed--goofy t-shirts, ridiculous yellow pants that look like they're from the 80s, a teal fanny pack--that is, everything but two of the most crucial elements to my costume: Napoleon's glasses and his moon boots.

The glasses brought us some woe, but we finally found the perfect pair at our local Walgreen's--no sweat.  No, it was the boots that gave us, and by "us" I mean "me," the real grief.

Moon boots are rare these days (believe it or not, clothing that was popular in the eighties isn't very easy to come by for some reason), so we had to improvise.  All I had was a pair of giant skater shoes that I seem to think are normal, some old brown sneakers that have been falling apart for over a year, and various worn-out or faded dress shoes.  (Apparently, I need to pay a visit to the mall... or at least get some shoe polish.)  My roommate had some boots, but they were way too not dorky. Finally, I remembered that I had some snow boots at my parents' house that would probably work perfectly for my intended purpose.

For those of you reading this at home, it has been about a month since I started writing this blog post. My procrastination has cost me the bright memory of my ridiculous experience that would have made all the difference in this blog post.  CURSE YOU, CRUEL LACK OF EFFORT!!!

Anyway, we decided to drive over to my parents' house to get the boots.  They were in the garage, buried behind a bunch of camping gear and under some moldy backpacks.  If that didn't tip me off that something might be wrong with the boots, the slime all over the inside of the right boot definitely did.  I managed to fish it out with my fingertips and held it at arm's length as I brought it out to the car.  I figured I'd have time to clean it up in the week or so before Halloween.

Fast forward a week or so, and, of course, I woke up with a strange, nagging feeling, which I shrugged off because I had slept in and was late for school.  Finally, the time came for me to change into my costume for a Halloween party Dria and I were attending.  That was when I remembered the boot.  The slime-covered, disturbingly sweet-smelling snow boot that I had left fermenting in my closet.

Being the brilliant, resourceful and quick-thinking man that I am, I decided to just wipe the gunk off with a wet rag.  It's not like a boot that had been sitting around for who knows how long would have absorbed the grease enough that a simple wipe-off wouldn't do it, right?  Well, no.  Wrong.  WAY wrong.  Because the moment I started wiping, a white foam began to... uh... foam... out of the boot, like rabies out of a dog's mouth.

Turns out the sludge on my boot was actually soap!

Which led me to my next BRILLIANT deduction: what do you do with soap?  Take a shower!  I was just about to take a shower anyway, so why not just bring the boot in with me and rinse it out?  A foolproof plan, if I had ever heard of one.

Of course, wherever the soap came from was obviously a full bottle of something, so no amount of wringing and squeezing and rinsing could get the soap out completely.  I wrestled with it for about twenty minutes before giving up and just taking a shower like normal.

So here I was, a man without an essential element to his costume.  I had two choices, really: I could wear the slimy boot, which was now also soaking wet (and this is Utah weather, we're talking about, which is not exactly tropical!), or I could go to the party looking like a doofus.  Well, I guess I would look like a doofus either way, but at least with the boots I would be a famous doofus.

I finally decided to be a man, and I stuffed my foot into the swamp that the inside of my boot had become.  I instantly knew that there was no turning back, because my pant leg was soaked around the ankle, and I would probably have to take another shower after I took the boot off anyway.  It was disgusting!

But at least Dria and I had the best couple costume at the party! :)

15 October 2010

I haven't posted in a while

When I was little, I used to make "potions."  These typically contained the strangest mixture of bathroom supplies and other liquids from our refrigerator, including, but not limited to: shampoo, water, toothpaste, and toilet paper.  I then froze my "potion," hoping it would one day evolve into some sort of... sludge monster... or something.  My mom usually disposed of them before they were able to grow any limbs or provide magical powers to me or anyone else.

Today, I discovered the secret potion for feeling really, really tired and out of it.

First, get a terrible night's sleep.  The best way to do this is to go to bed too late, then spend the entire night switching between laying on your stomach, then your side, then your back, then your other side, and so forth.  It helps if you have a runny nose that prevents you from laying face down for more than thirty seconds and have never been able to sleep comfortably on your back or side.

Second, get up at 6:00am and do some cardiovascular exercise.  It helps if this includes muscle toning exercises, as well.  Make sure you don't take any naps afterwards.

Third, just be sick in general.  Since this is often hard to plan ahead of time, you may need to wait for this ingredient to occur naturally and then proceed by adding the other ingredients.  You could also take up visiting hospitals and spending a lot of time around the most contagious patients, or you could become an elementary school teacher.

Fourth, don't eat lunch; instead of lunch, eat a doughnut or other high-sugar substance and finish it off with a Vanilla Coke or other high-sugar soda.  If you're feeling extra adventurous, eat two donuts and a chocolate truffle.  If you're feeling extra adventurous, I have a couple of websites that might give you some good ideas.

You don't have to stick yourself in a freezer or anything (although that might help if you stay in there long enough), but if you mix the four ingredients together, you'll come out feeling pretty terrible.  If you're lucky, you'll have an attractive fiancée nearby who is willing to provide her lap as a pillow while you attempt to recover in the afternoon.  If not, the best idea is probably to pull an all-nighter watching the extended editions of Lord of the Rings or the entire Harry Potter series until you pass out.  I hear that Ny-Quil can speed along that process, as well.

01 October 2010

I am Generally excited for this weekend!

Ladies and gentlemen! I am in anticipation for one of the best weekends of the year! There are several reasons that this weekend, and not the previous weekend, is one of the best weekends of the year. (Obviously, a couple of weekends ago was the ACTUAL best weekend of the year so far.) Here are the reasons, colon:
  1. General Conference is amazing: prophets, revelators, and seers speaking to the whole world about things that are really important to God and to us. Plus, you get to watch it from home, which makes it much more comfortable than regular church. 
  2. Where am I watching General Conference?: at my fiancée's family's house, which is awesome and has a huge screen TV. Apostles in HD. YEAH!!! 
  3. We will be building a tent and eating dinosaur sandwiches, as well as other awesome fun things like music and maybe a movie or something. 
  4. Did I mention that I will be spending Saturday at my fiancée's house? Call me Lovesick, but I just love every minute with my sweetheart. 

So life is good. Also, check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7k-VAlIPzKg

One of the greatest music video's I've ever seen. :)

16 September 2010

The Story You've All Been Waiting For

Has it only been three days since my last post?  It feels like way longer.  Oh well.

Regardless of how long it's been, I'm sure you've been waiting anxiously to hear the story of how I proposed last Saturday.  Dria has already shared her version of the story, but it's always fun to hear a story, especially one like this, from both sides.  Besides, my side of the story is much longer, as you will see.

It was the morning of Wednesday, September 8th.  I called the custom ring design place that was going to make her ring to see if the wax model were available to see later that day.  (I know it might take away from some of the fun of getting engaged, but Dria and I had pretty much already agreed that we both wanted to marry each other, so we looked at ring designs together.)  They didn't answer, so I looked online to see if there was another phone number I could call.  It turned out that they just weren't open yet, but while I was searching, I came across a most alarming list of bad reviews for the place.  This made me more than slightly nervous.  I immediately looked into other possible custom ring design places and texted Dria frantically to ask her opinion.

It felt like about a week before we found a ring design shop that satisfied us.  It was actually that very night, but the stress made time go so slowly I could have sworn it was longer.  First we tried Goldsmith, which was much nicer than Custom Ring Design, but quite pricey!  Finally, at about 9:00 at night, we found a friendly and enthusiastic reception by Steve at Sierra West Jewelers, who helped us figure out a way to get the design we wanted for half the price of Goldsmith and ten times the professionalism of Custom Ring Design, and we decided to go with it.

Knowing that it would take a few weeks for the custom ring to be designed and made, I hoped that I would be able to surprise Dria by getting a temporary ring and proposing to her that very weekend.  We had been planning a hike up the Y and beyond for quite a while, so I decided to use that as the setup for my proposal.  I began my preparations by staying up late that night putting together a collage of pictures representing significant memories from our time together, including a picture from our first hike up the Y and a drawing she made for me when we were at my parents' house one day.  Our first date had been a trip to Brick Oven and the subsequent viewing of the new Star Trek and Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (highly recommended—check it out right now!), so I put the collage inside of a Brick Oven pizza box and put Star Trek inside the box with the pictures.  (I didn't put Dr. Horrible in because we were already planning on watching it on the way up and I didn't have access to the outer case; Dria just had the DVD itself, which wouldn't work out very well...)  Furthermore, our first kiss was right after watching one of my favorite movies, Up, together, so I put that in the pizza box, as well.

I know, I'm just SO sentimental. :)

When I was finally so exhausted that I couldn't lift a pair of scissors anymore, I fell into bed, happier than I'd ever felt before and excited beyond words.  I was a zombie the whole next day. But I was a happy zombie.

I have to admit, it's really hard to get top secret proposal missions done when you're with your girlfriend all the time!  But somehow, I managed to procure a blanket, Harriet the Spy (which we had read together over the summer), and, of course, the temporary ring (Fine Jewelry from Walmart, even!) without her knowledge.  It involved quite a bit less sleep than normal, but the excitement for Saturday kept me going.  Or maybe it was adrenaline.  I'm not very clear on the biological functions of these types of things.

So Saturday FINALLY came, and I was ready.  In the morning, I gave Dria a Mad Lib to fill out, which I would have her read later that day.  I had one of my best friends go ahead of us with the blanket, the book, and the pizza box, and Dria and I left later with my laptop, Dr. Horrible, and some awesome adventure food (bread and cheese—just like in EVERY book that talks about people going on an adventure).  Reynold, my '93 Honda Accord, barely made it up the hills getting to the Y parking lot.  Little did I know, this was a foreshadowing of things to come...

After the first switchback, Dria started feeling a little dizzy.  She stopped several times to get her heart rate down and feel better.  I became concerned, to say the least, considering the implications of my preparations being at the top of the trail with no way of getting down unless Dria and I collected them ourselves.  With this knowledge in mind, I offered to carry Dria part of the way up the mountain.  Given, Dria is not very big, but hiking up a trail so steep is hard when you're only carrying yourself!  We made it to the Y somehow, where we watched Dr. Horrible and ate our adventure lunch and some Toblerone.  Good stuff.  Mmmmmm... dark chocolate, too...

Anyways!  We finished lunch and the movie, and proceeded forth up the winding trail to the spot where my blanket setup would be... set... up...  I wasn't sure how far we actually had to go before we got to the blanket, so when Dria started expressing a not insignificant amount of soreness in her legs, I once again became worried.  Fortunately, it was only about five more minutes before we finally arrived at the spot.

We lay down on the blanket.  I turned on some of our favorite and most sentimental songs.  She looked inside the pizza box.  I filled in the Mad Lib she had filled out earlier.  She read it.  As she got to the end, she read, "...then Jordan said, 'I have a question...'".  And I asked it.  She said yes (of course), and, as the last note of Our Song played, I placed the ring on her finger.

It was magical.

So, now we're engaged.  And I couldn't be happier.  At least, not until December 18th. :)

13 September 2010

ATTENTION EVERYBODY

I am engaged.  I may post the full story of how it happened, but for now, let it be known that I am happier than I've ever been before!

That is all. :)